07.31.06

A Slave to Cheese.

Posted in Book Info, The business of living at 1:46 pm by Athena

In November of 2004 I participated in Nanowrimo.  I locked myself in the house – pretty much the same spot on the couch for 28 days and wrote a book.  I had no idea what I’d write about until the morning of the 1st and then I just let the characters carry me off on a grand adventure.  The first week everything went fine.  I had no serious trouble making my daily word count.  Then about 8 days in, I stumbled.  When you stumble even for a day, the word count piles up – three days and you begin to think you’ll never make it, there’s simply too much to be written.  Panic sets in and you find yourself craving things you normally never eat, talking to characters that aren’t really there and walking in circles around the growing laundry mountain.

During my first Nanowrimo I developed a craving for Ritz crackers and Easy Cheese.  The unhealthiest ingestible-plastic product in the world and yet over the month I ate a full box of Ritz and TWO cans of cheese.  I craved dry ramen noodles, Godiva ice cream, and 4lbs of whole bean coffee.

I managed to finish in 26 days, with a word count of something like 50,163.

TA-Da!

So it’s no surprise to me that as I’ve gotten down to crunch time, I’m behind schedule and needed something, but I couldn’t name it… until I found myself standing in the store staring up at the canned cheese.  I walked away going – “No! I wont do this to myself.  No, I do not need plastic and dairy and OH MY GOD – I’d love some wheat, bread – YES English muffins!!!”

I went back.  I loaded my basket with my comfort writing foods to push for deadline.  Ritz, Easy Cheese, Godiva, and a bag of English muffins.  All the way home I was loving/hating myself.  I binged on rubber-cheeselike product and then suddenly got a second wind and wrote my entire page count for the day, in a matter of and hour and a half.

What does this mean?

I don’t know and I don’t really want to pursue the possibilities.

I’m still behind schedule, but now I have a cupboard of writing foods. 

As it gets down to the pressure cooker of deadline time, I’m also realizing who my Crazymakers are.  I’m coming face to face with the ‘Zilla I become when the pressure starts and I’m also in the midst of planning my hermitage that will last possibly for the next thousand years as I want to crawl under a rock and never see another living person so long as I have internet access.

When I’m discovered sometime in the future, I’ll look something like Golem – hideous and feral stroking an empty cheese can and murmuring “My Precious.”

 

07.29.06

Kiss Me

Posted in poems at 11:34 pm by Athena

So, you think you’re not tall enough.  Neither am I.

And you imagine you’re not ripped, like a body builder. 

That’s okay, I’m not stacked like Dolly.

You say your hair is thin, you’re getting wrinkles and you snore…

Me too, but don’t tell anyone.

You have a morbid fascination with death that translates to poetry, sing off key in the shower and had an imaginary friend when you were six.  You cheated on your girlfriend when you were 20 and your first wife left you because you were “emotionally vacant”, and as you tell me this, presumably to warn me away, I can see the love you still have for her.

You smoked pot once when you were a freshman, went to church every Sunday until you graduated college and learned that God was something else.  You believe the world is worth saving, and that people are generally good.  You collect antique keys, implying heavily that some time you’d like to show me a few of the more interesting finds.

Then as though you’ve done something wrong in attracting my curiosity you quickly inform me you smoke, drink, swear and have difficulty committing in a relationship.

Me too, all of the above.

So stop telling me why I shouldn’t find you attractive.  Stop trying to save me from making up my own mind –

Just shut the fuck up and kiss me.

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