07.28.06
Louie, Part two
I picked a spot in the back yard. Illegal to bury animals in the yard, but despite it all I just couldn’t bring myself to throw the body away. I might be a heartless bitch, but the kitty deserved a burial.
As I dug the whole, Zoey stood nearby and when I was done I saged the site and the body. Peter said nothing about my use of white sage and when I was finished we looked over and Zoey was curled up in a ball in the whole. No one will ever convince me that animals don’t understand death. They totally know.
Downstairsgirl came back as we were about to intern the body and said, if it were her cat, she’d want to have the choice of cremation. Fair enough. Good point. I left it to her to call Houseguy as she knew him better. He was awake in Pittsburg and said to go ahead with the burial.
Everyone else left so I did it by myself.
I was reminded by the smell of dirt, and the crushing sound of the metal shovel in the dirt, that it wasn’t all that long ago I’d had to perform a similar task for my beloved German Shepard, Dutch. That day took a lot out of me emotionally and I hadn’t thought of it in a few months. Of course, when I was finished I went to sit in the shower where I cried.
Yes, heartless bitch-not-a-cat-person-catlady sat crying in the shower over a cat that wasn’t even hers. It was still a creature.
I went straight to the grave after my shower to smoke a Clove and say my good byes. I had one match, and as I stood there over Louie and lit up – a gust of wind blew out my flame. So much for a cigarette.
Since then I’ve been a little listless. I went to the store and bought a fair sized pile of chocolate and I’ve been alternately creative and depressed. This house is not really what I was hoping for in terms of a safe-quite place to write. But I’ll keep plodding along. Three weeks left till my due date.
