Here’s the current movie critique of the independent feature film about my family titled, “The Nine Lives of Hypocrisy.”
The story follows an extended Mormon family through a weekend reunion of closet drinking, soapbox preaching, fornication, and god forbid – coffee and swearing! It chronicles the decisions of people trying to break free of their hyper-religious controlling mother and the often comedic and backwards antics of an aging father. The story of these seven children is less Brady Family and more Adams Family in nature, even supplying walk in appearances of a “Lurch-like” Uncle and a cousin It.
One can’t help but wonder it there isn’t a cupboard under the stairs where the rest of the family might be living.
While critics hail this film as a not-so-masterpiece, it goes to show what a $5,000 dollar budget can accomplish in the backwoods of Utah when the hive-mentality of the Mormons throw a good old-fashioned spaghetti dinner and work evening.
SPOILER WARNING
Weak spots in the dialogue are visible when the complicated dynamics of the seven adult children of the dysfunctional Matriarch and forgetful Patriarch fall into made up words of a repetitive nature that results in foot stomping, crying and grunting followed by a hurricane of finger pointing.
The character of the mother was too cliché. In fact her line, “If you love me… you’ll go to church.” was so overdone that I very nearly threw my popcorn at the screen. It was only slightly mollifying to see the parody on her Mommy Dearest martyr act, when the oldest son of the group later says, “If you love me, you won’t talk to mom – or anyone who talks to mom.”
While there seemed to be some attempt at a deeper message about family, loyalty and the questionable ethics of the Mormon religion… I felt my 3 hours could have been better spent pulling weeds out of cracks in the freeway. The characters were too overdramatic, often overacted and rarely based in any kind of logic known to this world. While the scenes involving the “great cigar incident” were funny, and the moments of bonding between the nieces and their “confused elder role models” were touching – this film fails to provide any lasting emotional uplift. The most well rounded character of the bunch appeared to be the dog, who wisely runs away in the first five minutes.
Napoleon Dynamite would fit in well with this group and it has been rumored that a crossover movie will begin shooting next spring wherein the heroic Napoleon Dynamite, sweeps the middle girl off her feet and swoops her to the nearest Mormon Temple to be wedded in eternal bondage matrimony (magic underwear included) the larger than life love of the new couple soon brings the family back for another reunion whereupon the Mother channels Jesus Christ himself to give lessons on familial obligations and the proper way to set a jell-o salad. However, don’t get too excited the script is still under revisions.
My final opinion of the movie is this, dysfunctional family movies are a dime a dozen. This particular cast is great at playing “who’s on top?” but fails to come together as real ensemble. Entertaining, yes. But I’d wait till it comes out on video as it sadly falls short of being impressive or dynamic. With that I’ll leave you with the Mother’s best line, “Yes, dear… so you walked on water. But you still managed to get your feet all wet.”
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