Alright, I’m in Park City. It’s such a huge irony that the city named “Park City” has no parking. So far I’ve lugged my laptop, all 30 something lbs. of her up the vertical hill in old town. The nearest parking I could find was about 8 blocks away. Halfway up the hill I sat and just watched people.There are all types here, but the common denominator is the cold. Everyone is sniffling their red runny noses. Whoever they are, whoever they’re pretending to be – we all have snotty noses and frozen fingers.The crowding isn’t too bad, as the street feels a lot like trendy third in Portland on a Saturday. It’s not bad but it’s not great. The cool thing is that I sat on a bench and watched lives go by in colorful vignettes such as:Two old ladies walk by, bundled from head to toe in black fur squealing to one another “I LOVED her in what was it – oh yes, Bridges of Madison County.”A tall Asian man and his uber skinny girlfriend. She was wearing thigh high stiletto boots and a mini plaid skirt and a half jacket. She looked so freaking miserable. I felt horrible for the poor thing. She’s here to be seen by someone. I hope she gets her wish because all that shivering on her behalf was doing me no good.
A couple posing for a picture with a giant statue of a moose, like they’ve never seen a moose before. So Cute!
A group of young guys, walking up and down the main walk ogling every woman and hooting as though they’d never seen a woman before – so NOT cute.
A group of three paparazzi with ginormous cameras walking past, one says to the other two, “Yeah, you have to be careful – that stuff will really upset your intestines. Not good.”
A guy and a girl going by in bleach-blonde style and faux fur. The guy gets a text message and stops to read it before blurting out “Who’s Hayden Christensen?.”
Then I saw a look-a-like of Toby Maguire Who knows if he was the real thing. Who cares?
There’s no shortage of people who walk down the sidewalk like they own it, or people who have that strange skin disease that turns their skin orange. Maybe it’s just the tanning. I worry that if they drink the right mix of fluids they might have a chemical reaction and spontaneously combust. I can see the headline now, “Half of Los Angeles gone missing at the same instant Park City erupts in green flames.”
Warning: Do not drink the water in Park City if you have a dangerously high level of ephedra, coffee, booze and self tanner in your system.
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