I woke up this morning with a cold. I think I’d felt it coming on yesterday but was pleasantly living in denial. As it sometimes happens I get miniature colds when I’m having my period or when my mind/body is out of synch. I realized this morning – I have a double whammy in that regard.
Last night I met with Harley, and I babbled non-stop. While I wondered if it was that I’ve been starved for social conversation for the last five months why I hardly let him get a word in edgewise, I also understood – I’m not completely in Portland yet. My body and heart are here – but my brain is still on the road somewhere with an undetermined ETA. I realized after I rushed out of coffee and ran off to dinner without even inviting Harley, how rude I know, I’m sorry Harley, I realized – I still feel like I’m driving. I’m in a hurry to get to locations do things and I’m not fully absorbing the experience. Though happy and cheerful and having fun – I’m missing the deeper levels around me, which could easily affect my search for jobs and visits with friends.
I’m home… but I got here at light speed and the other half of myself is still on vacation – probably somewhere between Park City and Hood River. After my long complaint about Bob Schneider yesterday I wonder now, if it wasn’t just me, or if perhaps he’s suffering from the same “present moment jet lag”.
Anyway, I need to figure out how to get the rest of my parts all in one spot. When I’m sitting somewhere and I catch movement out the corner of my eye, I still check my rearview mirror, even if I’m at a coffee shop. Last week when I was sitting in the movie theatre there was a time I felt like my body was still moving, vibrating subtly to the asphalt.
So I’ve been here 10 days – how long will it take to feel like I’m really here?
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