03.30.07
Posted in The business of living at 10:51 am by Athena
I fell asleep watching an episode of Supernatural, so of course I dreamed of Dean and Sam and some weird curse (think Pirates of the Caribbean Curse of the Black Pearl) and we were skeletons or zombies or something and we were chasing something through the graveyard. I stopped to catch my breath and Jackles was like, “We’ve gotta keep moving!” and I replied stiff huffing and struggling for air…
“We gotta wrap this up soon and get the cure cuz, I have to meet Gary for coffee at 9am.”
I woke up sweating at five am. I’d completely forgotten I was supposed to meet Gary for coffee at 9. So I set the alarm on my phone and fell back asleep. Sadly, I didn’t return to zombie chasing with the boys, but instead went somewhere between a nightmare about shopping at Nordstrom’s and riding the Max and living in a place where I couldn’t breathe unless I was laughing. Weird.
Thank god I made it to coffee with Gary. It’s always good to catch up with friends. You should check him out. He’s a writer in Portland, and he keeps a regular blog on Myspace. Oh yeah, and he has really cool hats!
And Dom, for your reference here are the links about my mononame status – here and here.
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03.29.07
Posted in Uncategorized at 2:02 pm by Athena
I went in to my bank yesterday to update my address and get my accounts all organized when my teller lady offers me a new sort of overflow thingy. I think, sure, why not, and she signs me up.
Then this morning as I’m about to get on the max with St. Mary to go downtown for her haircut, I get a call from the bank lady who says, “I’m sorry to bother you I should have double checked this yesterday, but it seems we can’t process your paperwork without your full name.”
Oh-My-God-I’m-Back-to-this…?
“Athena is my full name. I legally don’t have a last name.”
“Well, it just that we can’t process your new credit limit without a last name.”
Okay. Okay. Okay. Don’t freak out on the poor lady just because she’s the last one in a string of people at this particular bank to go all “you can’t be official without a last name” on you. Breathe.
“I’ve been over this so many times with you guys I’m getting really tired. Call the manager at X-Branch because I’m sure he’s sick of me by now and all the rude things I’ve said trying to get this sorted out. He’ll know I’m for real.”
“I don’t think he manages that branch anymore.”
“Ask the tellers if they remember a lady who came in with a pocketful of credit card shards and a fat legal file of paperwork proving I can exist with one name.”
“I’ll see what I can do, but it would help if you could bring your paperwork here or fax it to me.”
“I showed you my license yesterday, and my social security card has only one name on it. That technically should be enough to prove my case –because I no longer carry around the giant stack of paperwork from the courthouse.”
“Could you just fax me- –“
“No. I can’t. My paperwork is in storage. The documentation from the court is in storage and my current documentation ie. License and social security are my OFFICIAL DOCUMENTATION.”
“I’ll see what I can do and then I’ll get back to you.”
I stood on the platform next to St. Mary – fuming! Ranting about how this is such a stupid and ridiculous hassle. Why can’t people just – I dunno – figure it out?
“Why don’t you just pick a last name?” She asked.
“Because, I shouldn’t have to. It’s all about me, right? The world should just fix the computer programs so I can have the name I want. Meh. Me. Me. Me.” It’s hard to stay angry when St. Mary looks at you with her snarky smile and curly cue hair.
“I think you should have the last name, Fuck-Ya’ll-Mother Fuckers. It has a nice ring to it. Hi, I’m Athena Fuck-Ya’ll-Mother Fuckers.”
“Now that’s documentation I’d be happy to fax.”
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