Yesterday I was chowing down on those Spicy Thai Kettle Chips while watching ‘Life is Beautiful’. It was all fine, until the movie made me cry and I foolishly used the same hand that was in the Spicy Thai Kettle Chip bag to rub my eye.
Holy Fucking ginger in the eyeball, Batman!
I thought the movie was upsetting, but as I bolted up the stairs to get to the sink where I could flush my eye with water, I kept thinking “Bad idea, bad idea, bad idea – Don’t put ginger and paprika dust in your eyes.”
Later as I was recovering and my right eye was swollen and red, I looked at the bag and the tagline on the label is “Ginger with attitude.”
No Shit. It should say…
Ginger with attitude. We smite thee, oh stupid whiny bitches who sob at holocaust movies, and suffer periods of eating binges due to depression. We will kick you in your eye and teeth and asshole for you are a pussy and need to be taught a lesson. Kettle Chips Rule!
Recent Comments