I don’t think I’ll be taking the Pasadena contract. I know, wishy-washy, but the problem currently is money. Ghosts of Seattle is set to be released in August. I still haven’t gotten paid for any of the work, or out of pocket expenses and as I’ve been looking into Pasadena, that city is ridiculously expensive. I’m already on my credit as I look for work here in Portland so financially, the Pasadena contract is a bad idea.
I tried to get an advance or a down payment, but rather than giving me an advance, I was asked if I’d be interested in doing non-fiction here in Portland. Still, there would be no money until published, if ever, and still I’d be looking for work here in P-town.
So it comes down to this, what do I really want.
I was hoping to ride the coat-tails of the Pasadena contract as an excuse to be in LA and pursue the dream of acting while having a reason to drive around exploring and doing something that potentially had a monetary value. But it seems like that wont work.
I’ve been encouraged by many people in the writing industry to stop working with my publisher and get an agent. The trouble is, I really like my EditorExdroidinaire. She’s super cool and I dig working with her. I also like not feeling pressured to make decisions an agent might find more financially practical. Is that what an agent does?
Last night I sat down to write some fiction, dredging up a character I haven’t toyed with in a couple of years I suddenly became inflamed with the need to write at about 9 pm. I didn’t stop or get up or even go to the bathroom to 2am. Sixteen pages later I was so exhausted I fell asleep drooling on myself and when I woke up later to go to the bathroom I felt GREAT. A good writing purge is sometimes better than sex. All my muscles were relaxed, my body drained my mind blessedly clean of thought. It felt wonderful.
So as I sit here today, disappointed by the lack of financial backing from my publisher to continue my foray into the world of ghosts I wonder if perhaps I’m focusing on all the negative aspects and none of the positive. The positive is that this is the second continued contract they’ve offered me for ghost work (not good contracts of pay) but at least they are offers. They’ve also asked if I’d be interested in doing non-ghosty writing in Portland. So the positive aspect I keep neglecting is that – if they still want to work with me… I must not suck! If they’re trying to work with me about my current finances by asking me about Portland related projects because I complained about the cost of Pasadena – then maybe I’m not such a bad writer?
If this is true, then perhaps it’s really time to return to fiction work, the stuff that I’m passionate about, the stories that keep me up till 2am and leave me feeling like I had the best hard sex the night before. Perhaps, it’s time to go commercial?
The other question is, if I decide to go commercial where does that leave the dream of acting? Where does that leave LA? I can write anywhere. I proved that this last year when I wrote over 200,000 words while traveling around the country. But I have to admit, my favorite place to write is near the woods, close to the river, under a roof where the rain pelts down and the sky boils grey.
I have some ideas, there are options. I’ll keep you posted.
Recent Comments