Last night I went to the naked bike ride. I’ve never seen so much wang in one place, much less drunken, dancing, jovial fun! It was like a Dionysian party of the days of yore – well, without the groppage and the orgy.
Just good clean naked fun. Music, chatting and general social enjoyment. I didn’t take pictures of the crowds of naked flesh because, well, that would have been rude – but I did happily take pictures with anyone who asked or with people who said yes to my question. Therefore, if you are family… you will likely not want to scroll down or read anymore.
When I was invited to the naked ride I had my misgivings. After all I’d only had my first naked co-ed experience last month. But after spending the day getting hyped up, doing my makeup and picking out an outfit (the rules are whatever you’re comfortable in – as much or as little as you want) then I decided I’d feel left out if I didn’t go. However, once I got there I discovered my rear tire on my bike was not fixable so I just partied for a couple of hours and joined the screaming cheering onlookers during the ride.
There was a woman dressed like Eve in leaves. A guy in a full business suit with the ass of his slacks missing. A large jovial man in just his dress socks and sock garters. A girl with a cute dress shirt and fabulous hair and no bottoms and so on – there was definitely something for everyone.
I discovered, as I wandered around that although I was likely heavier than most of the girls there who are regular bikers, there were in fact several women that were pushing 250lbs. There was also one girl who was a slim size 4 who got on her bike and revealed a lot of cellulite. I began jumping up and down and cheering her on thinking, “That’s SO fucking cool!” Every body shape, size, color, sexual orientation was represented by the hundreds of people present and there was absolutely NO – I repeat – NO judgment about it whatsoever!!!
People there didn’t care if I thought my legs were too bumpy or my belly was too round or my breasts shaped funny! They just didn’t care, and I realized for perhaps the first time in my life as I posed for pictures and cheered for every naked ass in sight – No one cares, because it’s not really important. Importance is what you label important. So I walked away in the wee hours of morning, thoroughly exhausted and grinning because I went home feeling like a beautiful, curvy woman. I posed for pictures next to waifish skinny girls, and slender pouchy guys and naked middle-aged men and even a charming cross dresser and you know what, I had no judgments and I received no judgments – so what’s the big deal? God! I love this city!
KEEP PORTLAND WEIRD!
Safari Cass, and Athena
Steve Libby from the Golden Greats. My official invitation and a writing friend from our fav coffee shop Chance of Rain. Check out his work.
A guy who wanted to pose!
Guillermo, Me and Lauren, my friend from the conservatory who I didn’t know was going to be there! Hey Pretty Lady! I’d totally give your show a plug but I need more info, so drop me a line.
Nake+free beer+bikes+music+free neck ties+ Portland = More swerve than you can shake a stick at!
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