A thousand left to go

I think I’m not the only one to be surprised and think it doesn’t feel real yet.  At least two people with whom I’m very close, and who also heard me say things all year like; “I’m writing a book.” Or “I can’t go to the BBQ because I’m working on my manuscript.” Or “I’d love to, but I’m knee deep in research for my BOOK.” – they’ve heard all the excuses of the last year as to why I couldn’t hang out, go party or whatever, and they listened to all my rants about interviews, typos, contracts, rewrites and so one and STILL as I handed them my advance copy to peek at, they both – separately and unrelated peoples exclaimed, “Oh, you mean it’s a REAL book?”

Uh.

Duh.

To which they then opened it, smelled it, leafed through the pages and finally looked at me with this expression that said, “I thought you were just trying to blow us off all year.  I didn’t really know you meant an actual book.”

I find it all a little amusing.  For example when I was in Utah, and working on the manuscript, I’d sit at the table with Admiral Fubar while he was doing homework.  Occasionally we’d talk about my frustration over the new type setting codes for paragraphs, or my mixed up homonyms and even why I hoped the book would come out quickly so I could get paid. He sat there listening to my riffs about contracts, ghosts, and meeting deadlines – then one day when I called him to tell him that they’d offered me a second contract for another book he said, “Wait, what book? You wrote a book? When did that happen?”

“Admiral Fubar, I was writing it right in front of you.  We talked about it and everything.”

“Oh, that was a book? An actual book? I guess I was just thinking it was an article or something.”

Strangely, this happened quite a lot in my family.  Several members in fact seemed to have confusion at one point or another as though they simply couldn’t process the words, “book” “manuscript” “or “published”.

Then again my family is somewhat notorious for that. 

I took it to Awesome and Adorabella’s as we had a passing of the key ceremony and although they were very busy with packing and whatnot – they took a moment to congratulate me and for some silly reason, I got a little watery in the eyes.  It’s fun when people who know how hard you tried don’t care if it’s great – they only care that you feel like you won.

And I do.

It might not be much.  It might not be fabulous.  But it’s mine and it’s the hardest I’ve ever worked on something from beginning to end to date and had a product to show at the end. 

I say to date – because I fully expect there will be more challenges, more adventures and that one day not far off – I’ll be writing another similar post while smiling and getting ready to crack a bottle of wine and toast with my friends who never doubted I could do it – even when I was crying and saying I thought I might have bitten off more than I could chew.

Here’s a toast to taking a wild-ass-leap.  Here’s to packing up your apartment, selling your favorite car, quitting a very stable and loving job, leaving a cottage you feel is home, saying goodbye to friends and running directly at something that scares the shit out of you.

Here’s to doing what you think you can’t, letting go of the ideas that hold you back, crying, laughing, crawling around on your belly in a basement full of cobwebs to get a good picture for your story. Here’s to random roads, contact with your core and coming out at the end – exhausted, bruised, panting, hair askew … and grinning from ear to ear as you ask for more.

Here’s to showing up late for work with a mild hangover from drinking complementary celebration wine all night.

One book down. One story captured.

A thousand left to go.