07.26.07
Stepping up to the line, finally
I posted an ad on Craigslist yesterday. Although I’m feeling the urge again to share myself with someone, after two and a half years, I’m not sure how to approach it. So I put up a personals ad to see if it would give me some ideas about how to put myself back into the pool. It went a little something like this…
-I have to be honest, I’m ridiculously busy – but I’m also feeling the absence of something in my life. I’m missing someone charming and fun, sorta geeky, loves coffee and arts and adventure. I’m missing the guy who loves to take day trips to the beach or sleeps on the grass in Washington Park on a sunny day or rides the MAX just to people watch.
I miss the guy who loves to shoe shop with a lady then later that day find a good puddle of mud to go driving through.
I miss the guy who is as excited about my independence as I am and who doesn’t mind when I need to be alone for awhile or the times that I practically want to sleep right on top of him. I miss the guy who wants to talk all night even when we have to get up early and we’re both exhausted. I miss the guy who respects my need to do things my own way – right or wrong or inconvenient. I miss the guy who knows what a “safe word” is and honors it without question.
I miss the guy I want to wake up next to, laugh with, tease and adore. I miss the guy who wants to read in the park or wander downtown for hours on foot. I miss the guy who stops mid-sentence as something beautiful stalls his thoughts, be it a flower or a sunrise or a woman.
I miss the man who will read my body language as though he’s known me all his life, and whose body I read as though he were my favorite most beloved novel. I long for the man who will make me forget where I was going because he is a better journey than I could have ever imagined. -
I’ve gotten a lot of responses asking if he was an ex – or if I want to be a sub, or telling me they have a stable job, yadda-yadda. There have been a few good responses and I emailed some of them back, but I’m still at a loss. The really flattering thing is that I’ve gotten several very complimentary emails about my writing style, one guy asked if I made the last line up, “I long for the man who will make me forget where I was going because he is a better journey than I could have ever imagined.” And said I should consider becoming a writer for a living – which gave an enormous ego boost I grinned about it all day.
I don’t know yet, if the internet is the way to go. But it’s a start. It’s a step in the right direction. Here it goes.
dom said,
July 26, 2007 at 11:20 am
great ad! i doubt craigslisters are used to this caliber of writing. i’m curious if you get any response written quite so eloquently. you should post them if you do.
Athena said,
July 26, 2007 at 11:29 am
Hey Dom, Nice to see you
I haven’t gotten any replies that knock me over. There have been a few elegant and charming responses, and a couple that are freaking hysterical. (One guy asked if there was a reward for finding the missing man)
But as of yet, nothing has left me stunned and too excited to know how to continue.
That’s okay, there are some worth following up on.
All in all, it has been interesting - 150 so far and a few more every couple of hours. Mostly with just a link to myspace which feels like the easy out. I’ll keep yuo posted though
Mona said,
July 26, 2007 at 12:45 pm
Wait a minute, how is a link to a myspace page any more of an easy way out than handing out your card? Not that I am judging, I just don’t see much disparity.
Athena said,
July 26, 2007 at 1:07 pm
BUSTED!
Busted by Mona.
You are absolutly right, Mona.
There isn’t much of a difference. I guess I was thinking that since I took the time, to think and write and post and leave a picture, that others would respond in like.
But you are right. Dropping off a card and running away as fast as I can, is not that different than someone responsing to my ad with a link.
Good Call
I’ve been busted - and I know it.
Argentum said,
July 26, 2007 at 6:11 pm
Whatever works.
There are no rules.
BrianM said,
July 26, 2007 at 8:48 pm
Argentum: is that a rule?
Athena: Some folks seem to think “Hey, craigslist is free, so that means I can just post and re-post the same ad whenever I want!” Those folk are like mass-marketers, sending out thousands of ads that are aimed at the largest common denominator.
Others seem to think, “Hey, craigslist is free, so I’m able to experiment and try lots of different things and it only costs me a little time and creativity.” They aren’t hoping for lots of responses - just one or two quality responses.
You strike me as someone more like the latter. Dating may (I said “may”) be a numbers game - but there’s multiple ways to approach a numbers game…
Athena said,
July 27, 2007 at 12:17 am
Thanks Brian,
A numbers game. I’ll keep that in mind as I read my responses.
I’m surprised, and I think you’ll get this - that I’m not afraid. I’m actually excited about this step in the process.
It’s interesting that I’m not freaked, but I guess I have the privacy of Craigs to thank for that…
megan said,
August 1, 2007 at 10:21 am
I don’t think that you’ll find it on the internet, I think you’re more likely hanging out at coffeehouses, however, I do think that posting a craigslist posting will give you a good feel for the type of people out there in Portland, and will clarify what you want because you have to one: put it out there clear and in writing and two: you’ll get responses that you’ll have gut good/bad response to and it’ll help narrow your feelings on what you want. So therefore, I think its a good idea but ultimately not the way you’ll meet your next mate…*shrugs*