I stayed up talking with RoadWarrior again last night. Almost six hours. I fell asleep in the wee hours of morning after laughing hysterically at his stories and feeling like we’d had good developmental conversation. Obviously after a cumulative 9 hours conversation I can say I kind of dig him.
I’ve also become tragically aware of a major weak spot in my façade – I’m ridiculously prone to being spun out by flattery.
Damnit! Damn my stupid vanity!
So, here’s the thing. He repeatedly said, “I like the way you think.” Or “You have an amazing mind.” He teased me good naturedly about my tendency to over-think, but would often follow up with, “But I like that you’re a thinker.”
This is soooo not something I am used to hearing. I generally get sighs of frustration, combative arguments, eye rolls and flat out once being asked, “You never even finished college, why do you think you can even have an intelligent conversation about physics?”
I won’t tell you who asked me that one – but his name looks sort of like – Reggiewasanass. So ultimately, the flattery about the way I process and come to conclusions has never really been a focus of positive observation.
At one point RoadWarrior said something like, “I just don’t know how you lasted so long without drugs and alcohol! If I had a brain like yours I’d have been a crack addict by 11 and died of heroin by the time I was 14 and would have thought with my dying breath - - thank god it’s finally over my brain can rest!”
I laughed so damn hard I thought I’d wake Indigo next door. Nothing like a compliment that comes like a dull sword through the left eyeball.
We talked about things that felt deep and moving on levels that were nicely fulfilling and I’m totally looking forward to chatting with him more.
The interesting thing is this observation. It’s been so long since I’ve felt sexy and truly vibrant, several months in fact that I tried to pin down why I felt so great this morning. Why did I go to bed smiling and occasionally snickering before sleep claimed me?
Because it’s been a while since I feel like I’ve been treated as a smart, intelligent, independent woman by an intelligent, independent, man– and strangely, that sentiment makes me also feel beautiful… more so than if someone were to compliment my looks. I feel sexier with a smart compliment than any physical descriptive compliment that can be dished out. It’s an interesting response.
Also, now that I know my foolish Leo weakness for flattery – I’m going to have to fix that so I don’t get all stupid and giggly.
It’s just not dignified.
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