02.29.08
There be Dragons
My nieces were bickering in the corner. An 8 year old pitted against her 11 year old sister. I could hear them arguing but I couldn’t make out exactly what the issue was until Princess Cranky Pants stomped over to where I sat reading and blurted, “Auntie Nina, are dragons just made up or did they go extinct? Tree says they aren’t real and I think they just died.”
“Well, you’re both wrong. Dragons are very real, but they are not dead, they’re just smart enough not to be seen. They’re probably just sleeping in a mountain somewhere.”
“Really?” she asked, with a relieved smile.
I shrugged matter of fact, “Of course. Dragons are real, we just don’t see them.” I returned to my reading and glanced out of the corner of my eye to D who sat at her computer and she rolled her eyes in the way that means, “Athena, you’re not helping.”
That was last year. I’ve missed my sister and the girls and thankfully it seems they will be coming to visit for spring break. The girls have never been to Portland and I can’t wait to show them some of my favorite places. The cherry trees will be in full bloom along the waterfront and Forest Park will be alive with magic. The Market will be abuzz with new and exciting things after a winter of being silent. A trip to the sleeping dragon of the north or a drive to visit the mermaids in the west, maybe even a 20 minute getaway to introduce them to the fairies that live near Multnomah falls or the Gargoyle named Armon that keeps peace in NoPo from his perch on the St. John’s bridge.
I sometimes wonder what I have to offer the next generation of my family. I don’t have much in the realm of reality that would benefit them, I don’t think. I have only the worlds that I create that live in tandem with the world that I am obliged to be a part of. Fairies in my house plants and fabricated myths to explain the mundane everyday and make it palatable and exciting. Such fantasy does not currently pay bills or win awards. And I fear that someday I’ll be the crazy cat-lady Auntie that lives at the end of the road, talking to herself and doing macramé.
I want very badly for my nieces to be proud of me, to think that because I have accomplished something – so to can they. I want to be able to show by example that they can blaze their own trail, remove their own mountains and align the stars the way that suits their desires. I want to be able to make it easier for them to walk taller in a man’s world, strike out toward their dreams with fewer fears and obstacles than I did when I started.
The only way I know to do that is by living the eccentricity that is my make-believe. Because one day, it will be true.
megan said,
February 29, 2008 at 5:25 pm
everybody needs the crazy cat lady auntie. I think that is a very lofty position, and one to aspire to not dread. And “one day it will be true” is thinking conservatively. it is true. it is true now, and i know that because i live in it too. Showing people what the world can be is a valuable thing. Being the witch woman to a modern age is not easy, it is not usually smiled upon, but it is what keeps future generations of believers going! I fully look forward to my eccentric post-actor cat lady days. I cherish the moments I actually let myself live in the world I see rather than blocking it out so I can survive in the world that sits beside and I have to be in most of the time. Don’t underestimate the power of that person to inspire and instigate, if it weren’t for my “crazy cat lady aunt” I wouldn’t be going to africa, I wouldn’t be an actor. If it weren’t for my crazy mountain man dad I wouldn’t be as free as I am, I wouldn’t see the faeries so clearly or be able to escape into the veiled world when I need a soul injection! Be proud and stand tall as the crazy aunt, you are loved and needed!
Athena said,
March 1, 2008 at 11:03 am
Thank you Meg
Sooooo, you gonna come visit me at the end of the road? We can play scrabble and take a plate of scones and tea to fairies:)
megan said,
March 3, 2008 at 11:27 pm
of course! Also, I propose a walk on..uh..either Wednesday or Monday of next week. A nice long one to stretch myself out and remind myself I am not fat, and visit the fae.
oh..and we’re on for Friday, just a little change of venue, I’ll email you the details, we’ll have the place from 5pm on..its even better (and more expensive) than I originally planned! But my mom unexpectedly sent my $100 for my birthday, so why not splurge it instead of using it for oh..say..bills!?
Athena said,
March 4, 2008 at 5:16 pm
Splurge! Who needs bills anyway, it’s your birthday.
Gawd, I’m such a bad Financial Aid Advisor.
Tell me when and where, darling and I will happily tie you to the bed.
Because, well, I love you.