05.07.08
I can’t stop thinking about you….
I can’t stop thinking about you.
It’s ridiculous, really, because I don’t believe I’ve ever met you in this lifetime.
For sure, I’ve seen you in my dreams. For certain, I’ve curled against your body in the coldest part of night.
But not – and I don’t understand this – but not in my lifetime.
I see you now in my mind as you were then; older but perhaps not so much wiser as more experienced. You liked how I smiled at everything you’d forgotten to smile about. You used to touch my cheek like you would coax a bird to fly, a gentle nudge toward freedom – yet a desperate longing to hold on and cup something you believed more wild than yourself. You looked at me with wonder as though you couldn’t understand why I stayed.
I see you as you were then, a sword and shield to my flowery speech and easy laughter.
Then just as clearly I see you now, and you are clawing to get as much into this lifetime as you can, searching for truth as though it tries to elude you intentionally, only really, waits calmly to be noticed from the corner of your eye.
I am bemused and vexed. On one hand loving this puzzle – because I adore being puzzled – and on the other being frustrated that I will never know the answer.
Who are you?
And why can’t I pull my mind away from wondering why – you suddenly feel so close. Close enough to have passed me in the bookstore, or the market. Close enough that I may have breathed in your scent then lost it as soon as I turned into a crowd.
You are so close. Why now? Why this lifetime?
Why do I miss you when I’m sure we’ve never met?
