I’d planned on going to the De’merde Salon to meet some fellow artists and writers of the stumptown ilk but then at the last minute I heard about a reading going on downtown for “Voices of the People’s History of the United States.” Compiled and edited by Howard Zinn.
Let’s be honest, the real reason it piqued my interest is that Viggo Mortensen was slated to be one of the readers. Obviously, as I am a big fan of Viggo’s anti-war, pro-human rights efforts on the Perceval Press, I was intrigued as well as excited to hear his voice which – although it sounds ridiculous – his voice is one of those resonant sounds that I really like. There are a few actors whose voices stir my thoughts and he is one of them.
So couple all that with one of my very favorite things… stories about people who rocked the boat.
People call me argumentative. I’ve been called contrary, confrontational, devil’s advocate, and a trouble maker. I’ve been called an “infection” by my corporate boss and a rebel. Clearly, people who know me and have known me most of my life know I don’t challenge authority unless I feel they are being unjust, unfair or oppressive. I’m all for a sense of authority – when it is used with the respect for the power that comes with authority and a reverence for those who put you in that authority.
Don’t get me wrong, I am a law-abiding citizen. I don’t vandalize property; I pay my taxes and parking tickets and cross at the crosswalk. I don’t pick fights (usually) but I won’t let myself get bullied, and I won’t let someone else get bullied. I resonate with the voices that stood up when things were unjust – because things still ARE unjust.
I loved hearing the side of history that was lived and written by those who spoke out. I love hearing the stories and the conviction of the “voices of dissent”, the speeches of people who stood up and spoke rather than closed their eyes in hopes that it would all just go away.
I felt like, for the first time in a long time – I was going to be okay. I am going to be okay. There is a tradition for people like me. We are not crazy. We are not born bad. We are simply unwilling to accept the status quo. We are just not built to be complacent when things are so clearly, not right.
The performers were fantastic! And because I know all of you are curious, Viggo was wonderful. I was surprised at the shape of his energy. It was low and although I always imagined him having a mellow warm energy, a soothing weight of spirit like a well aged Scotch. But he seemed resigned to something, sad even.
There was also a surprise of Eddie Vedder from Perl Jam. He sang two songs at the end of the show and was very choked up due to the loss of Howard Zinn’s wife this week. Evidently, they were friends and his inability to talk at one point was very moving. Laugh if you must but although I knew Eddie Vedder’s name I only registered that he was a musician of a band and that the name was familiar.
After the show I drove down to Heathman hotel for some chocolate cake and coffee to write because I had so much on my mind. I was inspired and needed to get some thoughts on paper. While I was there I saw Eddie again and resolved to google him when I got home. Obviously, Pearl Jam was the result of that search and as I laid bed I thought, “Shit! Athena, you are a dumbass.”
Anywhoo, the moral of the story is that I finally feel like with the edge of 30 and the beginning of my emergence – I can let go of the idea that I am a “trouble maker” as if it is a bad thing. I can let go of the thoughts that I am a creator of dissention among my fellows and embrace the fact that I am not alone in being unsettled – nay, unhappy – no, FURIOUS, and how unjust and cruel and wrong things are sometimes. I can make peace with the part of me that is rebellious because I also know I am honorable and that I do not seek rebellion just for the sake of causing frustration but that I seek with sincerity – to encourage a change of thoughts, a change of views a change of opinions… and I also believe that I have enough respect for my fellows that after I have made the best of my efforts I can with total honesty and love accept that they are the way they are and I am the way I am and we can still live peacefully together.
So, yeah, I went to hear voices of dissent and found some kindred spirits.
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