In response to those of you who have been asking how my 6 months of celibacy is going….
As workers as an adult toy store in downtown Portland, a city known for being open-minded and kinky – I’m reasonably certain that there is nothing that could surprise the people who work the late shift. That being said… I’ve never been able to actually stall one of them out.
I was passing by and thought I should stop in and pick up another Butterfly which happens to be my favorite. I walked in, checked my bag and walked directly to the back room where I grabbed the last one off the shelf and made my way to the Tester.
He was a nice guy, short with face piercings and stripped Capri pants. He opened the box pulling out the toy and began to battery test it.
Tester: Can I help you with anything else? You seemed to know
exactly what you wanted.
Me: No thanks, I just came in for the Butterfly. It’s my favorite. I’ve already burned the motor out on three.
Tester: You shouldn’t use rechargeable batteries on those they burn the motor out faster.
Me: That’s good to know, but I don’t use rechargeable.
Tester: Then something’s not right. They should be good for at least a couple hundred hours before they break.
He looked sincerely concerned, like I would be upset that my toys kept breaking but while he was putting the Butterfly back in the box I was doing the math in my head….
Me: No… actually… that sounds about right.
He paused.
Tester: But … you’ve had 3….?
Me: Yeah, like I said, that sounds about right.
He recovered quickly and handed me the package to take to the front counter and as I left I couldn’t help but grin – I’ve never managed to stall them, not even a little, in all the years I’ve been a customer even while I was a swinger, and buying equipment for research for erotica writing etc. I’ve never made them blink.
Till now.
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