The >Nenana Ice Classic this year was a hefty pot!

Break up in Alaska was official on April 29th, 2010. For those of you who are unfamiliar, “break up” in Alaska is when the ice cracks and it’s officially spring.

I’ve been thinking about it a lot since I’ve been so homesick. Yes, I’ve been fantasizing about moving back to Alaska. Valdez, specifically.

I suspect that I’m homesick because I haven’t felt my best lately, and having already been slightly homesick earlier this year, it’s only gotten more powerful in terms of yearning since I feel crappy and want to be near in the places that are dear to my soul. Portland will always have my heart, but my soul belongs in Valdez.

As I’m trying to find a better sense of stability through the hormone treatments and blood loss and fatigue – I dream of the waterfalls in Keystone Canyon, the emerald crests of Thompson
Pass in the summer and the sharp crystalline wind in the evergreen trees at Robe Lake.

I drift in and out of sleep remembering the turquoise waters, snow capped peaks and glacial summits that feed the bay where I used to fish and swim and kayak.

I miss it.

I miss it even though I know I can’t survive it again. Not the winter anyway. The summer for sure, but I can’t do the 9 months of cold, isolated darkness.

But those three months of glorious sunlight, fjords, inlets, real honest to god mountains, glaciers, fireweed and vibrant wildlife….

It feels like, sometimes, that the memories of that time in such a spectacular place somehow makes it possible to drag myself out of bed on the really difficult days of exhaustion or not feeling well.

I don’t know why – but thinking about home is helping me put one foot in front of the other. I don’t have much energy left over for returning texts, emails or calls or for even doing laundry for that matter. I make it to and from work and that’s the best I can do for the moment.

And in the meantime – I will keep reminiscing on Worthington Glacier, Columbia Bay, Blueberry Hill, Mineral Creek, the small boat harbor and the spit. I’ll dream of coffee at the Totem, and crispsies at McMurrays. And while I think fondly on it all – I’ll keep plugging along until I feel strong by myself again.

I went to my new acupuncturist for the first time. It was amazing!

The first half hour was just talking about what’s going on and what we need to work toward. Then he had me get on the table and the next 2 hours were spent being needled all over my body.

On a funny side note – My acupuncturist is actually the very same man whom I nearly purchased a coffee shop last autumn. God, this is a small town! But he came highly recommended by two different people – and now I know why. He truly knows his shit!

I’ve always been a fan of acupuncture – and this visit was no exception. However, he mixed me a Chinese herbal medicine powder to mix with water and take three times a day…

The first and only time I’ve taken it so far was at the kitchen sink where I promptly gagged and retched into the dirty dishes – yes, it’s that disgusting. I’ll try again when I can work up the courage, but this time I might do it in the bathroom unless I yarf again.

I have a follow up appointment in a week. I’m pretty excited about the potential to make some progress through this avenue. The Eastern medicine explanation of bleeding and endometriosis – is vastly different than the Western. I’m hoping to find a path that encompasses treatment through both methodologies.

In the meantime, I’m getting my strength back. It’s slow but it is happening in measurable increments after two separate hemorrhages that totaled in the neighborhood of 4 pints of blood loss in t 7 weeks. So the fatigue is getting better and the hormones are leveling out. In 6-8 weeks this will all feel like some weird sidetrack memory.

Thus I’m looking forward to a fully productive and adventurous summer! So it’s good news! Things are looking up and all should be back on track in no time!