I am continuously surprised when my calendar reminder lets me know it’s time for a mid-month update. I should just stop being shocked at how fast the time is going by. It’s easy to lose track when I’m so far behind schedule on so many things simultaneously. It just is what it is for the season, and I need to make peace with that. Maybe I’ll catch up by the time the rains come.
This month has already been a staggering string of upsets. I blame the planetary alignments. A death in the family (my uncle), my two ducks were attacked and eaten by coyotes, followed by a minor car accident (very minor, just cosmetic damages, thankfully), heartbreaking health diagnosis for a couple of friends, and another friend processing a death and loss in her near circle.
While the worst seems to be hitting those dear to me, I am mostly unscathed. Support systems are activated and I’m trying to reach out more, touch base, be present.
With those heavy events come a deeper contemplation of life; a reminder to enjoy those you love, and actively reflect upon gratitude. It spurred me to re-arrange my breakneck pace a bit and fit in a couple of days of rest and a day of play. My daily hiccups and snafus are minor next to the monumental losses people in my circle are currently experiencing.
Whilst finding the gratitude in my day to day, I made choices to indulge a little. For fun, I upgraded my rental choice while my car is in the shop to a TANK. Yes, a Tank. It seems a silly thing, but the choice was a fun distraction for a week of car repairs. Would I drive a tank on a regular basis? Probably not, but I’ll admit, it feels pretty damn sweet, and I was grateful my insurance covered all the costs of repairs to my new car, and for the rental. #Gratitude
For fun, I decided to get artificial eyelashes. I’m slowly stepping into the dating arena, and thought they might help me feel sexy and playful. Alas, that’s not what happened. Coupled with a response from an eye infection a couple of weeks prior, my eyes had an allergic reaction to the lash adhesive. My right eye swelled shut, and my whites turned completely red. There was no way to get the fake lashes off, so…I had to pull my eyelashes out by the root. Ouch! So, one emergency doctor visit, and three prescriptions later we were able to keep the reaction from scarring my lenses…but my eyes are still sore, and naked. #Gratitude that my eyes weren’t damaged, AND that I learned I’m allergic to the adhesive before I tried to get eyelashes put on for a special occasion, or public event. Whew.
All in all, I am well, healthy and happy to be plugging along. I’m working a lot, building a lot, and trying to catch up on the details. I’ll get there.
Dating. Well, yes, and no. I knew if I mentioned it prior and didn’t follow up, I’d get some emails. So, here’s the gist.
Dating is like trying to be open to cozying up to a dumpster fire.
I’ll let you draw your own conclusions, but I’m not a fan. My co-worker talked me into getting back on Tindr… this lasted for three days. Then she convinced me to try Zoosk. It’s been a week and I’m already regretting the decision.
So by venturing into the dating arena, what I really meant is…I stuck my toe in the water, shuddered, and bailed. Nope. Nope. Nope.
In total transparency, I have moments when I miss sex, intimacy, great conversation…and that delicious male scent. But all I have to do it log onto zoosk and read the messages to think, “yep, I can be celibate forever, and I’m okay with that.”
I do get to indulge in watching the eye candy where I work. Lots of good-looking, funny men pass through the restaurant, so I’m indulging in long stares…though trying not to overdo it lest I look like a wild, hungry animal.
Speaking of hungry animal, when I told Mabelyn I was looking forward to turning 40 next month, because then I get my “cougar status”.
Mabelyn said, “No, 40 isn’t cougar yet. It’s like a puma, a cougar in training. You’ll be a puma.”
YAY! Next month I’ll be a puma! I’m not sure what to do with the title, all things considered, but it’s cool to be finally joining the ranks of age, sexuality, and confidence. Woot!
Meanwhile, the farmstead is doing well (aside from the ducks). The chickens are nearing maturity, and the garden is starting to take off. I’ve been harvesting raspberries and rhubarb. Some I’m making into liqueur, and the rest I’m baking with and giving away to neighbors. The roses are blooming, and the heirloom tomatoes are coming in. The bees are doing well, finding their food sources, and prepping for winter. And the forest is abundant with salmon berries, thimble berries, and wild raspberries. I tried to freeze some, but accidently ate them all. Holy moly, I love fresh salmon berries.
July is nearly over and I’ll be spending the rest of the month in prep, editing, farm-steading, working heavy shifts, and touching bases with the friends.
Next month I’ll be hosting my Alaskan tribe, and preparing for a 40th birthday bash to usher in the new decade of adventuring. I’ll check back and let you know how it goes…after the hangover wears off.
Have a fabulous summer, folks.